Schreibanfall einer Sommernacht [english]

Und auf einmal waren sie da. Über 600 englische Wörter, ein mehr oder weniger sinnloser Gedankenfluss.

Es geht um Wahrheit und darum, wie eine falsche Drehung vom Glück zum Unglück führen kann. Nichts tiefsinniges, nur ein kleiner Schrei um das Ende einer schreibfreien Zeit anzukündigen.

Seth und Maya gibt es übrigens nicht und sie beruhen auch auf niemandem, ich find nur die Namen toll. Und wer keine Schimpfwörter ertragen kann sollte hier nicht weiterlesen.

Dawn’s breaking and the world still sucks.

You know the rules. Let’s stop the future.

Another boring night on Planet Earth.

Seth looked at the star spangled sky. Seth was young, freaking young, way too young for the kind of jokes he liked to make, but tonight that didn’t matter.

Let’s fuck this pain away.

Another freaking day yet outside of paradise. It don’t matter. We’re all somewhere caught in between.

There’s no freaking matter, only my mind spinning in every single direction there is. It’s 2:18 am and I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep, I can’t breathe, I can’t eat, I can’t even come close to function normally because the entire world just stopped moving.

We’re all fools.

And blind.

Yet tonight’s different. There’s a whole new truth in between the lies and although we all know TRUTH and we’ve seen and experienced TRUTH before, nobody has ever seen a truth this pure, this young, this close to perfect. It’s felt like truth from heaven, true, godlike truth from above, but for what it held it might’ve as well just escaped from hell and painted a big red cross through our hope called love.ss

There’s no place for T-R-U-T-H in L-O-V-E.

Maybe we should all pretend that it never happened at all. That we didn’t suddenly decide to get down to it, that we didn’t end up in this haunted castle called REALITY and that we didn’t get tired of being a part of each other’s life.

Mystery’s beautiful- why didn’t we just end it right there`? Nothing would’ve happened, years wouldn’t have been lost due to waking up knowing that we can’t go back to the state of not knowing because the moment we tasted experience is the moment our whole flesh and blood got addicted to it and we couldn’t stop, never.

There isn’t an end to TRUTH.

There isn’t such thing as going back to LIES.

Hell, how could we ever be this young and ridiculous?

One day we’ll all be sitting in gigantic rocking chairs on our endless 360° porch and just listen to the wind cry over the things we lost and years we’ve wasted because we, our bullshit minds, had to feel like doing the ‘right’ thing, choose knowing and therefore devastation. We could have just kept on going towards what looked like hell but in reality would have turned out to be the one place we all wanted to reach and never did because we left got sidetracked.

One day there’ll be Maya sitting on the cliffs of Northern Norway and thinking where she went wrong. She’ll be lighting cigarette after cigarette and will be drinking Whiskey after Whiskey and she won’t find the answer to the problem until she leaves everything behind and jumps down a couple of hundred feet.

One day we’ll all be wondering why this happened- and then figure out that the question won’t be WHY she jumped but WHY she wasn’t strong enough to just suck it and go on- as the rest of us do.

Suicide is never a question of what happens to you, it’s more about why you can’t handle it because everybody around you seems to be perfectly fine. Perfectly fine while their life is teared down and there’s nothing left but little broken pieces.

It’s because at one point you decide to go down the wrong road. You threw away the blue print to what could be happiness and try to get it the easy way, only to die alone on your bathroom floor bleeding enough to make it look like a can of red paint exploded on top of you.
‘Maybe tonight is a night like that’, she thought while lighting the last cigarette in her pocket.

‘Maybe I just ended my life.’

‘Maybe.’

—–>And if it’s real then I don’t want to know.<—–